it's not that i dont like having that person to hold my hand when we're running through the rain. it's not that i enjoy sleeping alone. it's not that when you look at me and tell me you think i'm beautiful that i dont feel this sense of warmth and security. it's not that i dont smile when i see you walk through the door. it's not that my day feels complete without seeing you.

trust no one, but do remember this: never burn any potential bridges. know who's who and what they can do for you, and don't feel bad, cuz in the end they're gonna do it to you, too.

it's just that certain things scare the hell out of me. it's just that i dont want to lose any part of my own, unique, wonderful identity. it's just that i dont want to let myself become dependent upon another person's moods, thoughts, and actions. it's just that every time i hear the word "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or "relationship" or whatever, i cringe.

remember life's not fair. in order to maintain, you're gonna have to let your sensitivity be trained. a machine more than a human being, what you say doesn’t always have to be what you mean.

i dont know why this is. i cant really get the words to begin to explain it. i'm just much better off knowing that i am independent and that i dont have to take care of anyone other than my picky, stubborn, indecisive little self. i dont feel that someone's self worth is determined by their dating status. a lot of people seem to look at life that way. it's pretty re-damn-diculous. i have no problem hanging out with one guy all the time. but i'm perfectly content hanging out by myself. maybe i just need a guy to hang out with for a week every month. that would be cool. no expectations, yet no limits.

all of the kids working hard for admiration, trying their best not to meet their social expiration. kind of hard in a world this finicky. easily praised and yet destroyed just as quickly. i guess me and this world must not be compatible, cause I don’t want it's approval to feel valuable.

same goes with just regular friends. just because i havent seen you in a week, doesnt mean i've stopped caring about you, or counted you out in my friendship, or whatever. it just means that i've been busy. i've been in "one of those moods". i've been spending time with my lovely self. whatever the reason may be, i still love everyone and will be there for you when and if the time comes. and i'll want you to be there for me. it's a bit liberating when you realize that you can do pretty much whatever you damn feel like doing. and it's even more so knowing that you will. because no matter who i'm with or who i'm friends with, i will always be myself. everything i do is a product of raw emotion, whether that be love, hatred, depression, excitement, what have you. and that is all i need.